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BREAKING NEWS: KENYATTA TO APPOINT MINISTER FOR HOLES AND MINISTER FOR BUMPS

LATEST UPDATE, APRIL 1st, 2013

In a surprise announcement largely ignored by the Kenyan media amidst all the coverage of the Supreme Court’s decision, President-elect Uhuru Kenyatta has announced that he will be making what could be two unique and ground-breaking appointments that may just solve Kenya’s chronic road problems.

TWO NEW MINISTERS AND A RADICAL NEW POLICY

In a joint statement released simultaneously through the Ministries of Transport and Roads, the appointment of two new ministerial positions was announced together with the unveiling of a simple but radical new policy to address once and for all the state of Kenya’s roads.

Shortly to be gazetted are the appointments for a Minister for Holes under the Ministry of Transport and a Minister for Bumps under the Ministry or Roads.

The appointments mark a radical change in Kenya’s road’s policies. The objective now will be, through close cooperation between the two new ministers, to put holes where the bumps are on Kenya’s roads and bumps where presently there are holes. The new policy will therefore guarantee smooth roads throughout the country.

COORDINATED GOVERNMENT – “STAGGERING SIMPLICITY”

Communication’s advisor to the two ministries, Gina Dingbat, told a press conference held early this morning (Monday, April 1st) that the new appointments just go to show how coordinated government can work.

Ms Dingbat told the media that the new policy was staggering in its simplicity: “I feel such an April Fool for not thinking of it before!”, she said.

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