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COUGHING UP FOR COUNSEL: THE IEBC PICKS UP A SH380 MILLION LAWYERS BILL

Ahmednassir Abdullahi asking for Ksh. 50 million

The various lawyers who defended the Independent Electoral Boundaries Commission (IEBC) in the case of the petitions filed by Raila Odinga and civil society activists challenging the presidential election result have submitted the bill for all their hard work. It comes to, wait for it… Sh380 million. No, you eyes are not deceiving you, that’s three hundred and eighty million Shillings.

THAT WILL BE SH50 MILLION MR HASSAN, THANKYOU

Ahmednassir Abdullahi, the counsel for Issak Hassan the IEBC’s returning officer, has priced his work at Sh50 million. The IEBC’s leading counsel, Aurelo Rebello is after Sh25 million while his team of lawyers want a further figures of up to Sh20 million each.

SH2.2 MILLION PER HOUR

The Kenya Forum has being doing some arithmetic on the back of the proverbial cigarette packet.

IEBC Lead Counsel Aurelo Rebello wants only Ksh 25 million

The lawyers may have had up to 14 days of work to undertake in between the petitions being filed and the end of the hearings. We will allow that they may have had to work long hours, let us say 12 hours per day on average. That would add up to 168 hours in all.

If that calculation is anywhere near correct that would mean that the lawyers working to defend the IEBC collectively charged Sh2,261,904 per hour for their services.

Is that exorbitant? No it is not, it is extortionate!

WHO’LL PAY THE BILL?

Will the IEBC pay up? Yes and no. They will pay but in the end it will be the Kenyan taxpayer who foots the bill.

And it is not over yet. Remember, there are currently another 145 election petitions to be heard in the courts.

P.S. To help Kenya Forum readers look on the bright side after the above posting, here are a few lawyer jokes…

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps: They had pictures of lawyers on them… and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

What’s brown and looks really good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.

You are walking in the jungle when you reach a clearing. Suddenly in front of you is a tiger ready to pounce, a King Cobra rearing up ready to strike, and a lawyer. You pull out your pistol and then remember that you have only two bullets left. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice, you can’t be too careful!

President Kenyatta declared winner.

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