By Winnie Kabintie
Dear girl child….and this one is specifically dedicated to the younger girls, those who are just stepping into their 20s and taking that much anticipated step into young adulthood.
There’s so much pressure today’s society has placed on women; sadly this pressure is coming from even unlikely sources; from fellow women.
There is the pressure to SLAY and LIVE “THEE” INSTAGRAM LIFE and young gals are getting caught up in this culture. Now, while every human being desires to have the best and its okey…One thing I want you guys to understand is that THERE IS A TIME AND A SEASON FOR EVERYTHING.
Most of you girls at this age are just getting into campus/colleges and you need to understand that you cannot compete with most of the over 25/30 year olds who are already in the job market and as such you don’t have to succumb to the pressure to LIVE THEIR LIFESTYLES; RUN AT YOUR PACE!
FORGET ABOUT INSTA-ROLE MODELS
While its okey to draw inspiration from the over 25/30 year olds, you need to be smart and open minded because not everyone in this age bracket qualifies to be a role model.
A role model is someone that inspires you to be a better version of yourself, it’s a person who has curved a niche for themselves in their career and any other area of their lives that is of interest to you so don’t just succumb to the pressure on having Insta role models based on the amount of nice clothes and nice places these women visit. There is more to life than just that.
The important thing perhaps before you even venture on picking a role model is KNOWING WHO YOU ARE! This is crucial because if you do not know yourself; what you want to be, your dreams, your aspirations, your talents …you lose direction and you lack a stand even on your own personal choices.
At your age and at this stage of your life, the decisions you make now will dictate how your late 20’s and 30’s will be. It’s Okey if you don’t have all these cool stuff now; do not feel the pressure because IT’S NOT YOUR TIME YET; YOU’RE STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS; #RunAtYourPaceGal.
SPONSORS ARE NOT COOL
So do not let your self-esteem be influenced by the clothes you were or the cool places you would wish to visit. You can still look good and fashionable without shopping in Woolworths, Vivo or Mr Price and you can still eat at Sanford and not KFC and you’re still cool because you are running at your pace and you are comfortable and are proud of it.
Succumbing to these insta/ social media pressure to fit in, slay and live it is what will lead you to falling for a sponsor to finance your lifestyle, which is not an “in thing” by the way.
Today’s Society is almost making it cool and acceptable for these clandestine “sponsorships” but dear girl child the reality is that what a man can give you today is conditional and he may refuse to offer it tomorrow.
Focus on empowering yourself, sponsors will steal your youth and erode you the zeal to be self reliant.
THERE’S NOTHING AS COOL AS HUSTLING YOUR WAY TO THE TOP
You know what’s cool; being a woman of virtue and hustling your way to the top! There is no greater power than that of an educated, empowered woman. Because this kind of a woman does not need validation; she believes in herself and she defines her life.
This power draws the attention and the respect of the right people.
So while you take on Instagram to drool over women who are living it please focus on their TBTs not the current life. If they are celebrities go to Google read more about their success stories that is where you will draw inspiration; forget about these overnight Insta slayers, they are a hoax!!
Rome was not built in a day so before you feel the pressure to live the life or show affluence; please ask yourself “this woman who is giving me this pressure; who exactly is she; what does she do? Where has she come from and what has she accomplished so far?
If she is real and legit… you will have a whole book and you will be inspired but if there isn’t much to write home about….dear Girl child she is not qualified to be a benchmark for success or the gauge to validate yourself.
And to the older women, in a society that is falling short of mentors to young adults, you owe it to the society to change the narrative; to the few good apples out there, its about time you shaped this conversation by portraying what the real Slaying and Living It is all about and the virtues on which they are pegged on; HARDWORK and PATIENCE!
NB: The grammar in the letter is intentional to resonate with the target audience.